I cannot remember, your voice, the essence of you - gone. 
As simple as that. 
As if I had not existed, not truly, like a dream. 
Unbelievable, but real. 
As if I had failed to absorb and retain its content. 
Your voice, so beautiful,  so unspeakably familiar, yet so unknown. 
So very strange and so intimate. 
I feel like crying. 
I do cry.  I do laugh. 
To be moved so deeply cannot be. 
I am flooded by fear and happiness.
So difficult to live with you.  

I am unspeakably happy and sad.